So you’re the Best Man. How do you even start planning a bachelor party?

A lot of work goes in to being the Best Man. You’ve got to write a speech. You’ve got to keep that drunk groomsman away from the bride’s mother. Possibly most importantly, you’ve got to plan a bachelor party.

The first step to a successful bachelor party is to talk to the groom 1 on 1 and listen to what his ideal bachelor party would be like. Ask him what rules his wife has given him. Find out just how crazy he is willing to get. You never want to break his rules or put him in a situation that makes him unhappy.

Once you’ve got an idea of what he wants, ask him who he wants to attend. Don’t just assume that he wants every male friend to go; maybe he’s not comfortable with the bride’s brother or his creepy uncle being there. Make a list of people to invite with his help, and then only invite people on that list.

Now that you’ve nailed down the invite list the real planning can begin. Ideally this is not a challenge you take on by yourself. If you can, get in touch with some of the bachelor’s close friends and form a ‘planning committee’. If they live in the same town as you, meet up with them at sports bars occasionally to drink lots of beer brainstorm. This is also a great time to share stories about the bachelor that could inspire the speech you have to write. At the meetings you want to nail down essentials like the location you want to hold the party, the date of the event, and what kind of budget everyone has.

Once you know the budgets, you can start shopping hotels. Many hotel websites online allow you to cancel for free until the week of the event. Take advantage of that! If you’re not sure how many guys are going, book for the max number you’d expect and you can cancel rooms if you need to.

Now that you’ve got the hotel down, it’s time to nail down the activities. If you’re going to make it a BROFEST, then don’t plan on doing anything the next morning. Trust me, many guys won’t get up in time. Still you’ll have plenty of daytime in the afternoon and early evening to think of events. Fishing, gambling, whatever the bachelor is into. Keep in mind that this weekend isn’t about what you want or what the other guys want, this weekend is about what the bachelor wants. If he fancies a nice cup of tea at a botanical garden then it’s your job to make that happen.